The Jelly Experience [Exhibit III]

I have weighed and attempted all of my options. I dove the lowest of lows. I reached the highest height. I drove the path-less-traveled. I have chased all the pavements leading nowhere. I read the manual. I watched the DIY videos. I took baby steps. I leapfrogged it. I walked around the coffee table to breathe, stop and think. I have gone in and outside the box. I mix and match, switch and swoosh around, latter, rinse, repeat. I followed the instructional reference guide once, twice, thrice… my saliva on page 15.

I have been dreaming about it. I’ve exerted all of my effort on it. I’ve given all my sweat, blood, tears and urine. My focus was fixated on it. There was no other priorities. Schedules needed not updated. I’ve forgetten about anything else. I’m dwelling on it. It became my obsession. It’s my drug, my unreachable star, my unscrewable screw. My whole world’s around it.

I’ve consulted an expert. I followed my instinct. I’ve tossed a coin. I’ve prayed, chanted, and I bargained. It’s prodding me, mocking me, crawling in my sleep. It’s echoing. Should I have not started it? Should I skip, gundeck or just let it be? Should I have not been goal-oriented, or stubborn? Should I start anew? What if’s, should’ve, would’ve, could’ve, it’s all killing me inside.

For a little bit, I played with it. I joked, mimicked it and then laughed at it. I’ve danced my way around it. I ended up trying to reason with it. I’ve done my not-enough best. I’ve sung til my heart’s content. I’ve heard the fat lady sang. I’ve traveled, and traveled far. I’ve seen the darkness at the end of the lighted tunnel. I’ve injured myself and everything around me. I’ve beaten myself to death. I broke my own rules. I disobeyed the book of etiquettes. I’ve exhausted it all. Yet,

I failed. After everything and anything, I raised the white flag. Head down on the ground at a corner of a room. Unsuccessful. Defeated. Disappointed. This puzzle I just cannot piece together.

Have I made really made my peace with it?

No matter how much I’ve tried and tried, there are just some things I can’t do. There are just some things that won’t ever change. Unfortunately, there’s just no way to make bones for a jellyfish.

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Writing?

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24 thoughts on “The Jelly Experience [Exhibit III]

  1. Rommel, this was a great post as usual. I am going to repeat what Gilly said, “You made me laugh too”. Great work bro.
    And thanks for all those kind words you said about me and making my blog as featured blog. It means a lot. Thanks for all the inspiration you bring to me and my blog.

    • I was planning to feature great photoblogs for my Jelly Experience series, but decided to go ahead and do a little writing. It made an oppurtunity for me to feature you instead, which I’ve been meaning to do. :)

  2. Spoken from the heart…. and superb photos, as smooth and clear as the voice of your conscience…. Where are these Jellyfish photos from???

    • Thank you so so much for a lovely comment, ayurdantayoga. These are taken from the most popular Monterey Bay Aquarium. I have other post about it and some more from my The Jelly Experience series.

    • Glad what I have written made an impact. I was only going to do top paragraph then bottom paragraph, but I decided to expand to keep the guessing and intensity going. Nothing serious about it, just a little bit of writing now and then.

    • Actually that very last line is from a book called “A Separate Reality”. Exactly why I started to just expand that thought.
      Thanks for the comment.

  3. Pingback: My 7 Super Shots! « The Sophomore Slump

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