My father never really taught me anything. He never had his hands on mine when I was learning how to ride a bike. He was never behind my shoulder to look over and ogle what my homework might show or look like. He never gave me any encouragement neither when I made a mistake or whenever I was down. Tell you what, he never told me “go to your room” with a raised voice. He never really gave any fatherly advice. He never really imparted me knowledge. He never physically taught me anything.
He is “Uncle Bert” to everyone. He is well-respected in our community. He’s just so casual, I guess that’s how to describe him. He just carries that exemplar image without actually wearing a suit or glamorized by expensive blings. He’s self-effacing, laid-back and modest in a non-arrogant but natural way. He’s surprisingly a guy’s guy. He does, can let or command others to do the dirty work for him. And I don’t mean it in a bad way, he brushes their hairs afterwards. He never really gets fully involved. He works his ways in the backstreet. He doesn’t attack at the heat of the moment. When he does include himself into a situation, he assesses things calmly and collected. He talks in the side, plants ideas then influences in a confrontational basis and puts a period into problems impartially and rationally.
Problems are not discussed during our always perfect attendance dinner. He never let any kind of issues go our way. My father and I never really bonded together. We never really had those moments. He never pushed, forced me into doing things, nor stopped me at anything. He just let me, free… to a lot of things. He never make it hard for me to get whatever it is I wanted. I never really have to earn anything. In many ways, I was spoiled.
I remember this vividly. My father comes home mad about someone who’s obnoxious. He mentioned about not ever being boastful of what wealth we have, small or plenty. It’s true, he’s a simple humble guy who doesn’t wear anything expensive or show any kind of pompousness. There’s a show-off bragging and trying to pin him down, and he was distressed about it. He amazed me that way.
That’s my father. He influenced me in ways that he set good examples that builds a good person. Yes. He never really opened a book nor shared me a story. We never even watched a movie nor a particular favorite T.V. show of just us together. He just showed me valuable life lessons by basically him living his life. He never told me what my manners should be or how I should present to others. But, he never appeared as a bad image. My father never showed us any rude and immoral behaviors. He’s a true human being, and he is highly respected for who he is.
Nobody, not anybody, ever touched my father. I guess it was hard for others to do so. I remember a very intense serious event where a drunk guy was uncontrollably infuriated at my brother-in-law. The drunk guy had a knife in his hand standing in front of our gate. He was ranting about I don’t-know-what because my attentions were towards my family. I remember my sister crying, screaming in one scene. My other sister, who was pregnant at the time, was not letting see what’s happening. My brother-in-law was pushed to a corner as my mother and my aunt and uncle were trying to stop him from going outside and get into that fight. And my father, like he knows he won’t get hurt, bravely was closing our gate while a mad man with a knife was standing in close distance. That night was ended when the mother of the drunken guy was called to ease him.
He didn’t create a fearful image to us, his children. Although, I must say and I don’t think, we didn’t abused his kindness and generosity. Don’t ask me, I don’t know how he did it. He just instinctively let us do our thing. He created this friendly environment, our home, for us where we can function smoothly. He didn’t really have to scold us for starting a fight, getting into trouble in class or for any wrong-doings to other people. As if he set those examples for us just so then he doesn’t have to expect us to do what he does in reverse. My sisters graduated and had their jobs immediately. Me and my brother had our jobs before we hit our 20’s. We didn’t took advantage of his greatness at all. He’s a great provider and he shaped us well. I know I can’t be exactly like him. And whatever I do horribly wrong, it’s never the result of how my father raised me.
My father never physically taught me anything, but I learned a lot from him. He is an outstanding breadwinner. I am chin up high proud of my father, and I am a thankful grateful lucky individual of having him.
Happy Father’s Day to all.