personal

Un-Happy Thanksgiving! Un-Happy Birthday!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I really hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with your family, dear friends and all the people that are close to you. While I, just myself, entered a fast-food drive-through, went home and ate with a plastic spoon.

I’m not bitter. Why would I be a bitter melon? My lone wolf celebration is simply because of the nature of my work. I’m away from my family. I get to be in one place and meet friends. Then I leave and I’m alone again. I can’t be bitter about that.

That’s professional sacrifice. I should be a proud independent, or totally independent, partly proud, person.

Happy Thankgiving!

You say I should meet new friends so I have people to hang around with. Nah. I really had enough of nice-to-know-you, goodbye friends.

Then you say I chose to be alone. Darn right, I did! I did it to myself. Just me. Me and noone else. I did it to myself. Just Me. And that’s what really hurts. I did it to myself. I didn’t wanted to do anything. All these days of merriment is really not a big deal for me. I’m just used to be a part of the celebration. Now …. nothing.  

Guess what?! Just my luck! In three hours, I will embark on a 2-weeks work-related training and will be on hiatus. My special day is spent taking in the dread that I will go through without the comfort of my own place. The fact of being internet-less alone is killing me already. Not to mention, I had to pack more.

Happy Thanksgiving!

 Here’s the very best part… you ready? … it’s my birthday! 😀

T’is the same day of that year when I was born. That really calls for a celebration. uhm….NOT! 

The only thing that wiped my smiles away are the consolatory Facebook greetings. Actually, I did enjoyed those. It made me feel not invisible again.

I guess won’t be having a Facebook photo album titled Thanksgiving/Birthday this year.

Happy Birthday to me!

You say that I’m bringing you down. It’s really not my intention. I’m just saying. On these holidays, some people just can get really lonely. It marks the occasion and everyone pushes to get together, galavant and be fat and happy. Go ahead and enjoy the lovely feast you heartily prepared.

Happy Thanksgiving!

You say that I’m really am a party pooper. I know. Telling this when everyone is having a good time is more awful than the actual situation. You know what they say, misery loves company.

Okay, okay, geez! I’ll turn this around. I’m very thankful for a lot of things. I am thankful that I’m not out there in the street shivering cold, the roof is above me and there’s a stove and faucets that I can turn on. I feel blessed having traveled the world. I’m thankful for the web. I’m thankful for second chances. Like you, I’m thankful for my family and friends. I’m thankful for life, love and faith. I’m thankful for those who thinks of me esp. my girl who is far far away from me. She lives in a different continent. I think she’s drifting off from me, getting bored and tired of waiting because of our long distance relationship. Now, you can call me overdramatic, pathetic and an awful person trying to bring the party down.

You think I’m drunk. No, I’m not! And it’s not a drunken denial response either. I’m not drunk. I’m just really sad.

Happy Birthday to me!

You say, I should cheer up. I think you’re right. I really should stay strong, be positive and motivated. I put my mask on. That shouldn’t be a problem because I’ve been wearing it for years! I’m not a venting type of person. I’m patient to no end. I don’t normally complain like this. I’m always content with what life has provided to me. It’s just, sometimes, it’s bursting inside and I just need to air out.

No. No. I don’t need your pity now. It’s done and over with. I get out there and move on.

I really am thankful for all the blessings and gratified by the greetings. I hope for the safety of everybody. I think my girl is sticking around. I do feel bad about our relationship. I really need some serious thinking about this.

I know it’s completely inappropriate to cope like this.  I’m dealing with this sadness in a un-conventional way, but it’s the only method left for me. Look, I’m just trying to be honest here. I can’t always show happiness. Everyone can’t always make lemonade when life hands them a lemon. There is no sugar in the cabinet.

That’s last year. I should be happy now that I’m alone, eh?

Oh well.

See you guys after 3 weeks! Did I say two? Ow, I was daydreaming trying to ease down the pain. Now that’s the kind of forming a fantasy is the relief mechanism I was trying to avoid.

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Categories: personal

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4 replies »

  1. Rommel, isipin mo na lang nasa Pinas ka kasi we don’t have a Thanksgiving Day. Since, it wasn’t a happy birthday for you, have a good year ahead na lang. Now go and call your girlfriend. 😉

  2. Looks like you have one big happy family, I can’t blame you for the “sad” state of this post, you must have missed them so much while writing this one.

    Anyways, Belated Happy Birthday and I’m sure you’re over this feeling now and kind of like adjusted to your situation already (hopefully).

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